


A F*** Slippery Hairy Problem

by MindPalace91



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Hannibal Loves Will, Hannibal is a dork, M/M, Murder Husbands, Post-Episode: s03e13 The Wrath of the Lamb, Pure Crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-06
Updated: 2016-04-06
Packaged: 2018-05-31 17:21:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6479368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MindPalace91/pseuds/MindPalace91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hannibal decides to surprise Will with an ~unusual~ gift.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A F*** Slippery Hairy Problem

**Author's Note:**

> This is PURE CRACK. I still can't believe I wrote this oh my God.  
> This is actually from a crazy conversation on Twitter so, yeah it makes no sense...(Kay and Kate made me do it)
> 
> Any mistake is my fault because I wrote this very quickly, just tell me and I'll correct. XD

It was a nice afternoon at the Graham-Lecter house. Will was watching TV in the living room, some documentary about vikings. He seemed VERY interested on the show, so Hannibal didn't disturb him and only rested by his side on the couch. After some minutes Will looked at Hannibal.

"You know... I guess you'll look very nice with a longer hair, I mean slightly longer than the hair you had back in Baltimore, remember? I don't know, just a thought..." 

Hannibal touched his hair... short. He got a haircut a few days ago and now he is regretting with everything he has. How could he know Will actually likes him with longer hair? He never said that before! Now he will have to wait for his hair to grow back? Unless...

************** 

A few days later the doorbell rings and Will enters the living room carrying a box with Hannibal's fake name on it. 

"Hey Hannibal, this is for you, what did you buy this time?" Hannibal very quickly took the box from Will's hands. Will was starting to get suspicious, Hannibal was acting weird, even more than usual.

"Do not worry about this my dear Will, I was hoping to make a surprise for you, tonight, after dinner... in our bedroom."

Will gave him a curious smile. So is it a toy? Is it THAT kind of toy? Well, if he wants to make a surprise he will wait for it. 

"All right, if you say so." Will leaned and kissed Hannibal's left cheek and sat on the couch to read a book. 

The day passed by how it usually does, they were just finishing dinner and Hannibal noticed that Will was looking at him with an amused face.

"Is there anything you want to tell me Will?" Will didn't look surprised that Hannibal noticed that.

"No... is that, I'm actually curious about what you bought, I didn't know you were into that kind of thing." 

"I'm usually not, but I'll do anything for you, including that."

"For me? That? Ok Hannibal, now you have to tell me, WHAT did you buy?" Hannibal was having a little more fun that he thought he would with this. 

"Just wait my love, let's finish dinner and clean things up, then we'll have the whole night for you to find out." Will seemed convinced by that and they did what Hannibal suggested. 

After they finished dinner they went to the bedroom, Will couldn't wait to find out what on Earth Hannibal had bought and for him apparently. 

"So, where is your gift or surprise or whatever?" Will said while he was starting to kiss Hannibal's jaw, but Hannibal stopped him.

"I need to... change, in the bathroom Will, can you wait for me in bed?" Will never looked so confused, to change? Is this a fucking outfit? What is Hannibal planning?

"Ok... I'll wait then." Will started to take his clothes off while waiting for Hannibal. Now he's actually scared, Hannibal was taking so much time to get back.

"Hannibal? Is everything ok?" Will went by the door and knocked. 

"Yes, I'm fine, but this is a bit... hard to handle, I guess is the wrong size or something, is too long!"

Too long? Wrong size? What the fuck was Hannibal doing? Will was almost sweating.

"Hannibal, for fuck's sake, just come here I can't wait anymore to see what the hell you..."

Hannibal opened the door and Will thought he was hallucinating again. Hannibal was wearing the longest silver wig he have ever seen in his entire life and he was wearing ONLY the wig. The thing was almost in his waist, it was insane.

"Oh my God... Hannibal, what the fuck is that?????" 

"It's a wig Will, I guess you can see th--"

"Of course I CAN SEE that, but why are you wearing this?"

"You said to me a few days ago that you liked my hair longer, so I thought you would appreciate the gesture." Hannibal seemed so sincere that Will would feel sorry for him if he didn't look so ridiculous. 

"Hannibal... I said slightly longer, this is fucking TOO much, what were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry Will, I thought this would be something that would please you." Goddammit Hannibal, now he was looking sincere, cute AND sad.

"No... that's ok, it looks nice on you, it's like you are a warlock or some magic shit like that, hey, come here."

They started to kiss and went to the bed direction when Hannibal tripped in a chair almost falling and taking Will with him.

"Hannibal, what the hell?"

"Sorry Will, it seems I can't actually see with all this hair in my face, maybe I have to style it."

"Style it? How are you..?

"With lube." Will again thought he was hallucinating, was this even happening? Hannibal, wearing a gigantic silver wig saying he needed to style the thing with lube?

"This doesn't make any sense Hannibal..." But Hannibal was looking for something in their wardrobe. He picked a huge box that Will never thought about opening, inside the box there were so many lubes Will's mouth cracked open.

"Why do you have so many lubes?? When did you even buy this?"

"This is personal collection Will, you don't have to worry about it. So, I read I need to put lube in the wig if it looks bad." Saying that Hannibal just put lube all over the wig, making the thing look even worse than before. 

"I don't think this actually worked Hannibal, hey you don't have to do that, just come back to bed, please." Hannibal then went to the bed but he didn't take the wig off. Will just closed his eyes and hoped for the best, which of course wasn't the case. Hannibal was pure lube so he was very slippery, almost passing through Will and falling from the bed. When they were finally getting there Hannibal was having some trouble to see what he was doing.

"Hannibal, where are you trying to put your..."

"Wait, Will, I guess I got it, just give me a minute..."

"Hannibal... THIS IS NOT MY ASS, WHERE ARE YOU PUTTING -"

"What? If this is not your ass then what -

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Hannibal was trying to look at Will but it was impossible with all that hair in his face.

"I am covered in lube and hair and I'm so FUCKING MAD HANNIBAL! What even??" Hannibal looked like a crazy witch from some fantasy movie, the wig was a mess, there was hair EVERYWHERE and Will was very pissed. 

"I'm sorry Will, I just thought..."

"Yeah, I know what you thought." Will got up and took the wig from Hannibal's head and left it on the floor.

"Let's take a shower and you can compensate me for this fucking mess after, and I love your hair the way it is, so don't ever do something like this again."

"I won't, thank you for not being upset about it."

"Oh but I AM upset about this, now you are going to pay... slowly." Hannibal was grinning while Will was kissing him leading them both to the bathroom.

"Are you going to punish me?"

"Oh yeah..." Will's smile was devilish. "You gonna buy me another dog. And... I go first!" Will closed the bathroom door in Hannibal's face" 


End file.
